Building Resiliency & Coping Skills

Building Resiliency & Coping Skills In Children


Resilience is one of the building blocks to a healthy mindset and uplifting attitude each and every day. There’s no hiding the fact that we will face a wide variety of challenges, hardships, obstacles, and tough moments in our lives, but being resilient can help you step through life with confidence. 


Below, we are going to talk about what makes a resilient person, how to improve your resilience, and how to turn your resilience into new opportunities throughout life. 


By the time you’re finished reading this, you’ll know exactly where you stand and what you can start doing today to lead a more quality life. 


What Makes a Resilient Person?


Resilience is commonly defined as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties -- often referred to as toughness. Resilient people know how to bounce back from a tough or stressful situation and cope with whatever curveballs life throws at you.


Being a resilient person doesn’t necessarily mean these difficulties don’t affect you mentally or emotionally. In fact, obstacles and stressful situations are often the precursor to resilience. Resilience is the ability to cope with those difficulties and find a way to overcome them in a natural and healthy way. 


To better define a resilient person, we’ve categorized ten of the most significant traits, qualities, and characteristics that are often found in resilient people. Let’s take a look:

1. Viewing life changes and challenges as an opportunity
2. Ability to set realistic goals and detail a way to achieve them
3. Prepared for whatever comes and always give 110% effort
4. Knowing when and who to ask for help
5. Viewing mistakes as a chance to learn
6. Having confidence in your own abilities
7. Action-oriented
8. Having a sense of humor through tough times
9. Adaptability to high-pressured situations
10. Being comfortable as the leader in the group

When you’re resilient, nothing will stand in your way. You won’t feel stuck walking through life, you’ll feel more grateful for what you have, and you’ll overcome whatever life throws at you. 


Can Resilience Be Improved?


While many people believe resilience is something you’re either born with or without, that’s completely untrue. Believe it or not, most of us will practice resilience throughout our lives without even knowing it. 


Since we’ll all deal with challenges differently and have our own way of coping with things, the best way to improve your resilience is through practice. You’ll eventually learn what you need to do in times of stress and anxiety. 


If you’re trying to improve your resilience, which most of us should be, there are several things you can start to focus on and consider to figure out what your mind needs to bounce back from failure or shortcomings. 


When improving resilience, you should ask yourself the following questions to better shape which area you need to work on.


Do you have a support system?


When most people hear the term ‘resilience,’ they automatically picture someone who’s independent and doesn’t rely on anyone else to get through life. The truth is, resilient people need the help of others -- we all need the help of others -- at some point in our life. 


Having a support system that cares about you will ensure you always have people to lean on when everyone else seems to be against you. It’ll give you someone to vent to, someone to seek advice from, and someone to calm you down when life’s too difficult. 


Contrary to popular belief, resilient people will often have to rely on their support system to get through a situation properly.


Are you building your executive function skills?


Executive function skills, also known as self-regulation skills, involve our ability to control our emotions, manage our behaviors, and regulate our ability to cope with what’s happening around us. 


In order to build these skills, you should be actively taking part in social interaction, learning to think for yourself in certain situations, and finding ways to be creative. 


These skills will better help you deal with stressful and high-pressured situations.


Do you engage in regular exercise and physical activity?


Regular exercise and physical activity is one of the healthiest and effective things you can do for both your mind and body. Simply getting through a full workout will take a certain level of resilience -- and that’s a skill you will be able to utilize elsewhere in life. 


If getting through one full workout can help you face resilience, challenging yourself to do so regularly will help you build resilience consistently throughout the week. 


It will test your commitment, your ability to fight through the “I don’t wanna” thoughts, and will teach you to keep moving forward even on your worst days. 


Would you say you’re an optimistic individual? (reframe)


Optimism is one of the most important attitudes you’ll need to have when being resilient. Optimism will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel and give you the motivation to keep moving towards it. 


You’ll be able to look at any situation -- no matter how bad or stressful it is -- and see the positive out of it. Everything that used to stop you from achieving happiness and success will be nothing more than a speed bump. 


When being optimistic, you have to know how to reframe the situation. This will help you focus on the positive, instead of the negative. You’ll have to be able to acknowledge what’s wrong with the situation and what’s disappointing, but then immediately steer yourself away from disappointment. 


Do you face your fears often?


It’s common for children to have a black-and-white view on the world. When they’re faced with a challenging task or tough road ahead, they often only see two possible outcomes -- face it head on or avoid it no matter what it takes. 


It’s important to introduce a third option, which is to move towards that fear gradually over time. This will allow you to slowly open up to your fears so you can eventually get over them. We will actually do this naturally throughout life without thinking about it. 


If we have a speech or class presentation to prepare for but are terrified of speaking in front of people, we might start by practicing in front of a mirror. Then we’ll graduate to doing it in front of our pets, and then family, until we eventually feel more comfortable in front of a larger group.


With Resilience Comes New Opportunity


Being a resilient person will bring you a lot of new opportunities in life. You’ll notice highways that were once dead ends, open doors that were once locked, and achievements you never thought were possible. 


See, where most people will stop and give up is where resilient people will thrive. This is where being resilient will set you apart from the rest and lead you to success and happiness that seemed so far away before. 


You’ll feel more comfortable in your own skin, won’t back down from taking a risk every now and then, will have no problem asking for help when in trouble, and will always focus on being the best version of themselves every waking day.


Remember, being resilient doesn’t mean you don’t get sad, mad, or stuck. It simply means you don’t let those feelings stop you from regaining your happiness in life. With resilience, life will reward you with a much more pleasing experience.